Added: Latara Mathews - Date: 03.10.2021 18:34 - Views: 44444 - Clicks: 8499
I am gay but have never admitted this to anyone. I have gone through life pretending. My friends probably suspect I am gay, but we have never discussed it. I always joke about never meeting the right girl, and how I love traveling so I could never settle down. I have secretly fallen in love with male friends over the years, but never told them, as they are heterosexual and usually in a relationship. Eventually I get over these crushes, and we remain good friends without my ever saying anything.
Now I am again infatuated, this time with my male boss. I love his intelligence, wit, and interest in life. He is separated from his female partner. I think about him constantly, even when I try to keep myself busy with hobbies and friends. If I say nothing, this feeling will eventually subside and he will never know and we will remain friends. I will probably take the secret of my sexuality to the grave and everyone will just think I was a nice guy. But my heart aches. Then again, what benefit would it be to my boss, my elderly mother, or my friends to know the truth?
Let me put it like this. Why, on this particular week, did they pick up the phone and call me, when their problem may have been going on for months or years or decades? This is a ificant departure from how you managed your dilemma in the past. Some people deal with an inconvenient truth about who they are by forming a second self to protect their original self, and then distinguishing between the two becomes difficult. Conveniently, the likelihood of any real-life relationship under these circumstances is almost nil.
So how would living your truth benefit you? So many people hide the truth of who they are out of fear that it will turn people away, but with the people who matter, the exact opposite happens. If you let people see the truth of who you are, people will be drawn to you. The people who care about you will want to know you, not an edited version of you. Those who care about you will want you to be happy. You can learn who these people are by telling the person you trust the most, and then using the confidence gained from that experience to slowly branch out to others. Or you can tell a of people at once.
Use it to set yourself free.
Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only, does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
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Dear Therapist: I Will Probably Take the Secret of My Sexuality to the Grave